Posts Tagged ‘sex toys’

Sex in the news roundup: Thurston Moore gets Pervy, Katherine Heigl’s sex life, SaSi sex toys, and more

January 20, 2008

“Thurston Moore to Soundtrack Arthouse Erotica Film,” Uncut

Thurston Moore has soundtracked an arthouse erotica film, made by acclaimed New York underground director Richard Kern.

The 60-minute film, titled “Extra Action (And Extra Hardcore)” , is released on DVD on March 18, and features original music from the Sonic Youth guitarist.Kern has collaborated with Moore in the past, directing the gory video for Sonic Youth’s 1984 single “Death Valley ‘69″ and supplying the cover image for their 1986 album“Evol”, which was taken from Kern ’s film “Submit To Me Now” .

Also: ”Thurston Moore gets Pervy,”

”Marriage boosts Knocked Up star’s sex life,” The Times

Katherine Heigl has confessed her sex life has got “10 times better” since getting married.

The Knocked Up star — who married musician Josh Kelley in December — says her bedroom gymnastics have improved dramatically since tying the knot. She told the US’s Cosmopolitan magazine: “Our sex life has always been phenomenal, but I think it is 10 times better than it was. We understand each other better.”You feel sheltered in the moment, whether you’re being wild and crazy and you’re doing your striptease or it’s more mellow.”

”Teenagers’ cell nudity under fire,” The Salt Lake TribunePolice and school district officials are investigating several Farmington Junior High teenagers who traded nude photos of themselves over cell phones.

The latest incident is the third time this school year that Farmington schools have caught students trading photos of their genitals and other nude shots, said Christopher Williams, a spokesman for the Davis School District.

“This type of technology creates problems,” Williams said. “Imagine being a teacher trying to teach a class and you’ve got students sharing inappropriate photos of each other. You’re not going to have the attention of the students.”

A parent recently found the explicit photos on a child’s cell phone and contacted police with concerns about the material, said Farmington police Lt. Shane Whitacker. The photos were traced to 13- and 14-year-old students enrolled at Farmington Junior High School, he said. Both boys and girls were involved.

”Sex, Lies and Contraception: The Male Pill,” Blowfish Blog, Greta Christina

If I were a single guy, dating and screwing around, I wouldn’t want to leave the contraception question in the hands of some woman I’d just met, either. I mean, think about it. If, as a woman, I wouldn’t trust some strange guy who told me, “Don’t worry, baby, I’m on the pill” —

then why on earth should men trust some strange woman to tell them the same thing? The consequences for men of an unwanted pregnancy aren’t as intense as they are for women . . . but they’re not negligible. (Can you say, “child support”?)

And I think that might point to the real market for the male pill. (Or patch, or injection, or however the drug winds up getting delivered.)

Mark thinks that, even if pharmaceutical researchers could make it effective, male hormonal contraception will always be a niche market, mainly limited to men in committed long-term relationships with women who trust them enough to leave the contraception in their hands. But while I can see his point, I think he may be overlooking another key market: the market of single men who want control of their own damn reproduction, just as much as women do. I think the biggest market for the male pill might well be single men who want the moral equivalent of a temporary vasectomy: a way to guarantee that they won’t get stuck with offspring they didn’t expect or want.

”The Roots of Western Pornography,” Marianna Beck, Libido Films blog

Prosecutions against pornography were largely haphazard in England during the 18th century, although the publication of pornography was judicially declared to be an offense of common law. As noted, Memoirswas successfully driven underground without any legal prosecution and, generally speaking, there seems to have been little government interference in regard to publications described as bawdy or licentious. The main exception, of course, was if sexual activity found itself mixed in with politics and/or blasphemy. Although the major campaigns against obscenity didn’t start taking shape until the beginning of the 19th century, it was clear that the winds of tolerance were shifting as the 18th century ended. One of the more perceptible changes occurred in 1787, when King George III issued a proclamation against vice, exhorting the public to “suppress all loose and licentious prints, books, and publications dispensing poison to the minds of the young and the unwary, and to punish publishers and vendors thereof.”

”Sex-ed effort in Glen Cove focuses on Latinos,” Newsday

For Blanca Recinos, doing laundry in Glen Cove has become an opportunity to lecture about sex education.

Armed with brochures and pamphlets from Planned Parenthood of Nassau County, Recinos talks to her Latino peers about the prevention of pregnancy, HIV, AIDS and human papillomavirus. Recinos, a six-year resident of Glen Cove, is one of 14 women recruited by Planned Parenthood of Nassau County as part of a new, Spanish-language marketing campaign to inform the Latino community in the city and the surrounding area about the services the health center offers and to draw them in. ”The community needs plenty of information in this regard,” said Recinos, 39. “At the very least I can talk to them a bit and hope that it stays on their minds.

”‘Sensual Intelligence’ Gives New SaSi Sex Toy an Erotic Edge,” Regina Lynn,

But we’re finally starting to see sexual appliances that can compete in coolness with The Sharper Image’s kids-of-all-ages catalog, although not necessarily with the Roomba robotic vacuum.

British company Je Joue launched a new product, the SaSi, at the Adult Entertainment Expo last week in Las Vegas. If the original Je Joue oral-sex simulator is like a 60-GB iPod with multiple playlists you design yourself, the SaSi is like an iPod Nano with an automated Most Popular playlist.

The SaSi takes the best of the Je Joue — soft surface material, firm massage finger, sensual movements — and simplifies the control so all you have to do is press a button to say “yay” or “nay” to a particular movement. It also has buttons to control speed and to add or remove vibration.

Sex in the news/blogosphere roundup

January 18, 2008

Sarah Katherine Lewis from her forthcoming book Sex and Bacon, on Britney Spears: (via Seal Press blog)

“Of course she’s demonized: Britney is female appetite. Britney wants. She wants food and sex and love and trashy, sexy, no-account boys. But it’s not the outward manifestation of her appetite her detractors can’t abide—after all, many female actresses and singers are heavier than Brit’s ever been (Kirstie Alley, Missy Elliot, America Ferrara, Kelly Clarkson, et al.). It’s the fact that Britney appears incapable of hiding her appetite the way every woman is taught to from childhood, whether or not the truth she tells with her body is deliberate. It’s undeniably familiar to me and to every single one of my female friends. Every single one of us fights the same war, attempting to forge a tenuous detente between what we want (everything) and what we’re supposed to want (nothing). The difference is, Britney’s fight is public property. Her attempts to make peace with her own body and its desires are accompanied by a constant chorus of criticism meant to shame and punish. You try living with that.”

Here’s the publisher’s description of the book:

It’s said that how we eat is reflective of our appetite in bed. Food and sex: two universal experiences that can easily become addictive and all consuming. You don’t need to look far—The Food Network, billboards, and TV spots, to name just a few—to witness firsthand the explosive combination of food and sex.

In Sex and Bacon, Sarah Katherine Lewis is a seductress whose observations about the interplay between food and sex are unusually delightful, sometimes raunchy, and always absorbing. Sex and Bacon is a unique type of lovefest, and Lewis is not your run-of-the-mill food writer.

A lusty eater who’s spent the better part of her adult life as a sex worker, Lewis is as reckless as she is adventurous. She writes of eating whale and bone marrow as challenges she was incapable of resisting. With chapters that hone in on the categorically simple—fat, sugar, meat—Lewis infuses even the most quotidian meals and food memories with sensual observations and decadence worthy of savoring. Sex and Bacon is exuberant—a celebration that honors the rawness and base needs that are central to our experiences of both food and sex.

Firstly, how hot is my friend Tess, photo below?

And she’s teaching a class on talking dirty! January 26, 8 pm at Kanvas Lounge – click here for details

Silence has no place in the bedroom – unless you’re gagged!…

Having hotter, sexier sex doesn’t require you to spend a fortune on an arsenal of sex toys and accessories. Mind blowing sex can be achieved by using what your already possess. This course will teach you how to use your voice, your imagination, and your erotic vocabulary to add fun and spice to the bedroom or the backseat.

If you don’t think you have an erotic vocabulary, you will by the time you leave. From using your cell phone to send messages that leave you breathless with anticipation to looking into your lover’s eyes as you relate just how good that feels, you’ll learn how to go at your own pace as you release your inner slut or stud.

2 words “vagina couch” – from Jezebel

Tantus Silicone on Freddy and Eddy’s Sex Boutique

I, as many people associated in any way with the sexual health industry, have often contemplated creating a store- THE STORE that I would want to shop in. A store that was clean and well lit with no slat and no grid on the walls. Where less was more and quality was beyond reproach. A boutique where customer service wasn’t looking at the daily reciepts but at the life long relationship between clients and the business. A store that was comfortable to talk frankly about sexual explorations and a couples intimacy- how to maintain it and how to spice it up so it was ever evolving. A place where family was center- even with no children allowed. A community space where the neighbors would think it was an asset rather than a liability that the store was there.

How inspiring a store like that would be- a store like that is.

I will tell you- I’ve been to beautiful boutiques the world over. I’ve seen nothing like this vision until I stepped into Freddy and Eddy’s store in Venice California.

What makes it unique is not the aesthetic but the experience. The espresso waiting for you at the door and the long hall of a sexual library where customers can take any book they like on loan free- it’s on the trust system. What an amazing way to begin a dialog that is often full of secrets or even more often a dialog where the client doesn’t know how to talk or what to ask.

Good Vibrations on “Mood Creams, Shmood Creams” plus a sex tip!

Mood Creams: I get asked for these a lot. From both women and they’re partners and I have to say mostly straight folks. The underlying dilemma here is that the chick isn’t always in the mood when the guy is. Possible reasons? Different sex drives, relationship issues, personal baggage, lack of sexual gratification (on her part, guys), not enough sleep, and even some medications can curb sexual appetites. My prescription? Erotica. Porn. Ask her what she wants between the sheets. Settle arguments. Communicate. See a counselor. Add some kink. Get a new toy. Make compromises. Talk to a doctor. Get some good rest. Take some time to seduce your parnter. Compliment her. Tell her at least once a day how fucking hot she is. See if that doesn’t put her in the mood…

Your Sex Tip of the Day: Next time you get hot and heavy challenge yourself to make-out out with your partner as long as possible before reaching in for the naughty bits. That means clothes on, kissing and rubbing only. You may also whisper naughties into each other’s ear, but that’s it! See how wet and hard you can get just by doing that… By the time you get around to the main dish(es), you’ll be guaranteed an incredible time.

Pleasure Happens, the blog of The Pleasure Chest, interviews Jessica Resler of Vergenza:

P.L. – So what really sets this product apart from the thousands of other sex toys on the market?

J.R. – Our differentiation is based on our brand and our design. Sex toy companies don’t focus on branding their products, or if they do it’s very graphic and aggressive. Our goal is to build a lifestyle brand where our customers know that using a Vergenza means you are using the finest erotic tool. We never will pander to our audience by offering pink toys in plastic boxes or tell customers that a sex toy is a substitute for a lover. Our erotic tools are a means to express a new intellectual and sexual sensation.

Our credo also suggests that Vergenza product owners don’t hide their erotic tools in their sock drawer or under their bed. Our products are gorgeous and should be put on display. I personally have three that I leave on a silver tray next to my nightstand, and this always, shall we say, promotes use.

Video from the below letter taken at last night’s Blogger Sex Night at In The Flesh Reading Series will be coming soon. For now, a photo of me with T.A. Hines, a.k.a. Funky Brown Chick:

With T.A. Hines, aka Funky Brown Chick, at In The Flesh

“An Open Letter to the Man Who Told Me He Wanted to Piss in My Mouth,” Funky Brown Chick

Three beers (for you … and two glasses of wine for me) later, we were standing at the bar ordering the final round when your hand began to dance along the small of my back. That’s when you said it. You leaned into my ear and murmured, “I’m gonna piss in your mouth.”

I didn’t have time to react because you immediately dipped your right hand in the back of my pants and tried to slide your fingers along the slit of my ass cheeks. Naturally, I stopped you. When you removed your hand, you placed your index finger under my nose. “Smell your asshole,” you said with a straight face.

Why God? Why?

Sticky Pages at Bookslut, “an exploration of sex in literary fiction” – on Tin House’s anthology Do Me

Matthew Vollmer describes the awkward fantasy of a young woman, who is infatuated with an older woman, as her boyfriend is giving her head. “That night, after a few beers, the younger woman allowed the boyfriend to go down on her. She tried to imagine the older woman. It was hard. The older woman would not have whiskers.” Most of the stories in this collection follow that same idea about sex — exposing the uncomfortable and all too human elements of real sex. This is literary fiction, after all.

But Martha McPhee’s story “The Anthropology of Sex” really earns the collection its vulva on the cover. McPhee writes about two sisters who, in childhood, engaged in a game called, “Normal Day.” The sisters would play it with the neighborhood kids and the game involved having an affair and successfully keeping it a secret from the others. The narrator, Isabelle, is grown up now and watching as her sister’s own affair is unraveling, while reflecting on her first affair as a college student with her married professor.

What’s new in sex interviews

January 16, 2008

Over at Conde Nast’s sex blog Daily Bedpost, Em & Lo interview Jamye Waxman, author of Getting Off: A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation, out from Seal Press.

E&L: Do you think it’s possible get addicted to sex toys? What would you say to the woman who can only get herself off with a toy, not with her hand?

JW: I don’t think it’s possible to get addicted to sex toys. I use sex toys often, and when I take a break I can get off with a hand or a tongue. Even when I’m using sex toys I can get off with a hand or a tongue, it just takes longer than it does with a toy. I’d tell a woman who can only get herself off with a toy, to remember first off that the brain is your biggest sex organ ever and that what you’re thinking about when you’re playing with yourself can make all the difference. If she’s thinking that she can’t get herself off, she needs to start talking up the fact that she can, and that it feels good to do so with her hand. She needs to visualize having that orgasm, and how happy she’ll be that she did it without outside help and that she did it for herself. Also she shouldn’t give up after fifteen, twenty minutes. Time doesn’t matter. She can’t let herself get stressed out about how long it might take, she needs to set aside as much time as she needs to get off, and she needs to just let herself go there. Go with the flow so to speak. If she can’t reach orgasm that first day, there’s always tomorrow. Oh, and she should use lube so she doesn’t irritate her clit or her vagina. Even if she’s got her own natural lubricant, which she probably does, lube is a great helper for all things sex.

Deborah Siegel interviews sex therapist Esther Perel on her blog Girl With Pen about her book Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Domestic and the Erotic (check out my Village Voice column “Keeping Married Sex Hot” on Perel from 2006 too)

Siegel: “I think it’s Fear of Flying meets Jane Sexes It Up—an implicitly sexy and intellectually fearless 21st century manifesto on sex inside marriage, for both women and men. According to Perel, mating in captivity is not a problem to solve. Rather, it’s a paradox to manage. And manage we can.”

DS: You write, “American men and women, shaped by the feminist movement and its egalitarian ideas, often find themselves challenged by these contradictions.” Please say more about how younger men—the sons of feminism, that is—are challenged by contradictions. Of what sort?

EP: In heterosexual couples, I see men who struggle to find a place for themselves sexually with their partner, and with how to express a masculinity that includes a striving force, a drive, assertiveness and that will be welcomed by the women. They are reluctant to reveal their sexual turn ons to their partner for fear of insulting her. Moreover, having lost the male privilege of a woman who’ll perform her wifely duty, they need to keep her erotically engaged, seduce her, make her feel desirable and interested in him. The idea that committed sex is intentional, premeditated consciously willed clashes against the myth of spontaneity. Another point is that if women can do all what the man does, where does that leave him? What is specific to him? Ou est la difference?

It is important for him to convey to her that the language of intimacy for him is often not verbal, but physical and sexual. Additionally, he wonders how to bring the erotic home, be safely ruthless with the woman he loves and respects.

Given the power shifts, men often struggle to integrate masculinity and sexuality in their intimate relationships.

Best Sex Writing 2008 will be out in December 2007!

November 5, 2007

Best Sex Writing is an annual series publisher by Cleis Press. For the 2008 edition, to be published in December 2007, Rachel Kramer Bussel is the editor.

Below is the publisher’s blurb and interviews, updates and event info coming soon:

Do Jewish girls give better blowjobs? What does it mean to be a modern-day eunuch? Would you want to work in the pink ghetto or live in the glass closet? How “hung” are African-American men? What happens to a celebrity sex tape star in Iran? Best Sex Writing 2008 answers these questions (and raises many more) as it probes the inner lives of those on the front lines — political, personal, and cultural — of lust. From dangerous dildos to professional submissives, the erotic appeal of twins, sex work, pornography and much more, these authors delve into the underbelly of eroticism. Probing stereotypes, truths, and the tricky areas in between, Best Sex Writing 2008 opens the bedroom door and explores the complexity of modern sexuality with thought-provoking, cutting-edge essays and articles.

Introduction: One Little Word, Infinite Interpretations

Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report • Rachel Shukert
Double Your Panic • Kevin Keck
Battle of the Sexless • Ashlea Halpern and Porn Hysteria: The Lie of Unbiased Reporting • Violet Blue
The Prince of Porn and the Junk-Food Queen from Insatiable • Gael Greene
Tough Love • Kelly Rouba
Dirty Old Women • Ariel Levy
Stalking the Stalkers • Kelly Kyrik
Sex in Iran • Pari Esfandiari and Richard Buskin
Surface Tensions • Jen Cross
Sex and the Single Septuagenarian • Liz Langley
The Pink Ghetto (A Four-Part Series) • Lux Nightmare and Melissa Gira
To Have or Have Not: Sex on the Wedding Night • Jill Eisenstadt
How Insensitive • Paul Festa
The Study of Sex • Amy Andre
Dangerous Dildos • Tristan Taormino
Absolut Nude • Miriam Datskovsky
The Hung List from Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in America • Scott Poulson-Bryant
The Glass Closet • Michael Musto
Menstruation: Porn’s Last Taboo • Trixie Fontaine
Buying Obedience: My Visit to a Pro Submissive • Greta Christina

Introduction: One Little Word, Infinite Interpretations

Sex. One little word, so much drama. One little word, so many interpretations, definitions, permutations. For some, sex means ecstasy. For others, it means procreation. For some, it means sin outside the confines of marriage. Many believe that only heterosexual penetrative sex qualifies for that hallowed three letter word; everything else is either foreplay⎯or forbidden. For a lot of us, myself included, sex is an ever-changing, ever-evolving set of acts, philosophies and identities. It teaches us, thrills us, empowers us, confuses us, electrifies us. Sex drives our lives and our lives drive our sex, in all sorts of complex ways. Pleasure and danger, as the famous Carole Vance anthology called it.

When I thought about the kinds of writing I wanted to include in this anthology, I knew I wanted to read about the kinds of sex that make the world, not to mention one’s head, spin. The kinds of writings that throw our notions of what sex is into disarray. The kinds of writings that will long outlast the chronological year printed on the cover of this book because their meanings and messages will continue to be read, debated, questioned, and answered. These pieces, taken as a whole, give a broader view of sex than you’ve likely ever considered, dealing as they do with biology, gender, crime, politics, the environment, health, religion, race, and much more.

Here you’ll find a wide array of writings about the state of modern sexuality, taking you everywhere from the front lines of erotic activism to insightful analyses of everything from sexuality studies to menstruation porn to naked college coeds. From large publications such as Playboy, Penthouse Forum, and Out to smaller indie outfits like $pread, Heeb, and Other, as well as online publications and books, each of these pieces contributes to a whole that shows that sex, the act(s) and the topic(s), is much more complex than most of us give it credit for. Whatever definition you currently have for sex, prepare for it to be shattered.

Best Sex Writing 2008 includes two pieces that are very near and dear to my heart. As a Jewish woman with a passion for cock-sucking (not to mention Monica Lewinsky), I found Rachel Shukert’s “Big Mouth Strikes Again: An Oral Report,” a fascinating look at the ways Jewish women’s mouths have come to be, in the popular imagination, permanently open. While she offers up a few jokes and puns, she bolsters them with a thoughtful essay that goes way beyond the conventional wisdom. Bloggers Melissa Gira and Lux Nightmare break down the meaning of “The Pink Ghetto,” a place where I and many of my peers find ourselves, whether we like it or not, simply because we’ve chosen to write about that vexing three letter word that’s always stirring up so much trouble.

I’ve also included several personal essays here because I believe they demonstrate some powerful lessons about how sex plays out in our lives. The sexual karma delivered to Kevin Keck in the form of twin baby girls, after a high school career spent lusting after his own town’s version of the Doublemint Twins, is deliciously twisted. Gael Greene takes us back to a headier, more hedonistic time when, freed from her marriage, she could seduce the notorious porn star Jamie Gillis, inching into his supposedly seedy world while reveling in his dirtiness, literally. Journalist Scott Poulson-Bryant, in an excerpt from his excellent study Hung: A Meditation on the Measure of Black Men in America, a mix of personal experience and impassioned journalism, asks whether the stereotype of the black man as America’s most horny, the one who by his very definition signifies sex, is true or even relevant. These pieces you might very well be able to relate to even if you’ve never been horny for twincest, had an affair, or been a black man, because their authors’ words go beyond their individual circumstances to shed light on the current erotic climate.

And then we’ve got some more unique territory. Out of all the pieces here, Ashlea Halpern’s exploration of the lengths today’s eunuchs will go to remove their genitals, “Battle of the Sexless,” makes me squirm the most, with equal parts fascination and horror, yet I’ve reread it now numerous times. There’s something appealing and at the same time appalling about this state of affairs that Halpern delves into with a sympathetic eye.

Many of the authors here directly address the politics of sex, and demand that the status quo give way for a broader vision of sexual inclusion. Trixie Fontaine’s discussion of piss and menstruation porn is one that, like Halpern’s, may make you uncomfortable. And that’s exactly her point: while some may find her work abhorrent, others are equally turned on by it, and the fact that capitalism doesn’t trump human blood is indeed worth investigating. Tristan Taormino looks at the important issue of phthalates in sex toys, while Violet Blue takes mainstream media to task for its biases when it comes to porn reporting. Ariel Levy’s “Dirty Old Women” explores relationships between adult women and teenage boys, asking what it means to be molested when you’re male: “For many Americans, being a real grown-up requires a penis. And if you’ve got that, even if you’re only fifteen, you must have the maturity and the manliness to know what you want to do with it—even if that involves intercourse with a forty-two-year-old. Who among us would say the same thing about a fifteen-year-old girl?” Her exploration of the motivations of these teenagers and their seductresses (she calls Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau “the poster couple for pedophilia or true love, depending on your point of view”) makes us reexamine our assumptions about male sexuality. It’s no surprise that Levy’s piece also surfaced in a volume of Best Crime Writing; the intersection of sex and the law has countless permutations, and it’s often to the legal system that we look for answers to help us define what “acceptable” sex is. Elsewhere in this collection, in “Stalking the Stalkers,” Kelly Kyrik examines real attempts to catch pedophiles in the act of luring children via the Web.

One of the great new frontiers of sex writing is college newspapers, where sex columnists are starting with a base of knowledge I wish I’d had when I arrived at the University of California at Berkeley, helping educate their fellow students and working out the logistics of sex in print. This new generation is bold, brave, brash, and ballsy, and one of the best and brightest is Miriam Datskovsky, who wrote the Columbia Spectator’s “Sexplorations” column. Here, she takes us inside the phenomenon of naked parties on campus, calling bullshit on them, in those precise terms.

For all the jokes, hand wringing, and ink spilled about Paris Hilton, even her recent jail time, we are a country whose consumers made 1 Night in Paris zoom to the top of the porn best-seller charts, resurrecting an interest in celebrity sex tapes that’s seeing burgeoning sales once thought to have gone the way of Pam and Tommy. But what happens when you’re an Iranian actress caught fucking on film⎯or possibly fucking on film? Pari Esfandiari and Richard Buskin investigate the case of Zahra Amir Ebrahimi, who’s embroiled in a sex scandal about a tape in which she may or may not star, offering insights into the changes in Iranian culture which have made sex both more and less taboo. The situation has seemingly worsened in recent months; in June 2007, Iran’s parliament, in a 148-5 vote, approved a measure saying “producers of pornographic works and main elements in their production are considered corruptors of the world and could be sentenced to punishment as corruptors of the world.”

As for the word “Best” in the title, I’m the first to admit that this is a fully subjective call. Sex is everywhere, and I encourage you to read more about it on the growing network of sex blogs and mainstream and alternative publications, or take pen to paper (or fingers to computer screen) and write your own sexual manifesto.

I thought I knew a lot about sex when I started working on this book. I’ve had dozens of lovers, I wrote a sex column for the Village Voice for two and a half years, I’m on staff at an adult magazine, and I have listened to countless confessions of sexual peccadilloes and adventures. But when it comes to sex, we can all learn something, as you’ll see from even a brief perusal of the table of contents or by skimming any of these chapters⎯I certainly did.

Sometimes I think sex is a code word for every dirty, naughty, perverted thought anyone’s ever had. For some it can be encompassed in a kiss, for others a flogging, a performance, or an intense masturbation session. For others, like that famous maxim about pornography, they know it when they’re doing it. Sex is broad enough (and powerful enough) that we will continue to write, talk, and debate about it for centuries to come⎯when we’re not busy engaging in our preferred version of it. When I tell people I write about sex, I can see immediately whether their judgment about me has changed in the second it took me to say it. Most of the time, I don’t have time to sit and explain how complex a topic we’re talking about. Now, I can just hand them this book, which asks just as many questions as it answers, and hopefully does what good sex should do: leave you wanting more.

Rachel Kramer Bussel
New York City